A Cup of Faith: January 2008

Cheryl Wyatt writes for Steeple Hill. Her novels from her Wings of Refuge Series are about a team of USAF Pararescue Jumpers and the ladies who capture their hearts. Cheryl's wonderful book, A Soldier's Promise, is on sale this month. I've asked Cheryl to share tips on how she makes time to write with young children.

How I write with kids:

Since I left one career to stay home with my children, I am very strict about sectioning off writing time.

I make sure I don't over-volunteer for stuff that could cut into my God (which includes Bible), writing or family time.

I try to only write while my children are in school, or sleeping. That means staying up late (my preference) or getting up early (yick!).

At the beginning of each year, I prayerfully evaluate what things I can give up in order to have more writing and family time. For instance, I have watched TV a total of about ten hours for the past three years. I haven't IMd except for around three times in about three years as well. I pulled out of coordinating ACFWs Book of the Year, Genesis and IRCC Contests since that took several hours a day for weeks at a time. That was a prayerful decision.

During this evaluation time, I decide how many people I can mentor and how many contests I can judge and I don't do any more than that. Usually around five contests, three to four unpublished and one published contest. That is my way of giving back because I feel that is so important. I wouldn't have gotten where I am (and I still have SO much to learn) had others ahead of me on the road not taken me under mentoring wings. Even in that though, I try hard to set strict boundaries because my husband and my children come first.

I ask God to order my day before my feet ever hit the floor in the morning. I ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and wisdom on what to say no to and what to pursue.

I put God first.

This year, I'm giving up shopping. My husband has agreed to take that over. That will give me a few more hours in the month...and probably a few more dollars in the bank since he's more frugal than I. LOL!

I had a mother's helper during my first contract, and I miss her so, so much. She took a semester off college to stay with my children when I had to have reconstructive surgery of my hip bone and socket, pelvis and femur. During that recovery, and during her time with us, I got a lot of writing and research done. I wish she was still with us, but she went to nursing school. I'm happy for her, and for her future patients because she will be so conscientious and compassionate. If you can afford a mother's helper, one you trust with your children, I highly recommend that.

I don't waste a minute. I set brutally strict hours for writing and I ignore the phone and e-mail during the time I write. I know God will alert me if the phone rings and it's an emergency. I've had overwhelming compulsion to answer it before, so I know He'll alert me.

I give my children permission to interrupt me when I'm doing more menial stuff, so they are understanding when I have to hibernate for a few days to get my rough draft down, or proof my galleys. Those are the only two things that I do writing-wise that I can't stand to be interrupted during. It takes such intense concentration.

I do a special activity with them the week before I do either of the above. Then I do something extra special for them and with them right after I finish the above.

At the advice of friend, Pammer James, I have an "activity bag" that they can only play with while I'm writing, if I happen to be under deadline and need to write while they're home or awake.

I try to set cushy deadlines so I can have special one-on-one time with each of my children.
I trade time with my husband, meaning let him do things he really enjoys, like go on a ski trip or to a concert with his buddies so when I need writing time..like the recent brainstorming trip to the Carolina's, he's supportive. We love to do things together as a family and plan regular activities together. In addition my husband and I have regular date nights where it's just the two of us. Amazingly, that helps us both be refreshed and ready to take on the kids when the other needs to borrow time for something.

I delete a lot of e-mail. If you send me those meme things, or those tagged things or forwards...sorry but I usually don't read them. I have to be very brutal with what I spend my time doing and those sorts of things aren't high on the list. I wish I could have time to answer them, but I feel my blog and promotion must come first at this time, since my first book is releasing.

I include my children as much as possible. I let them stick the labels on any books I mail out, and I let them help me tape the packages. I let them stuff a pen in each envelope, and they love "helping." It gives them ownership over what I'm doing and I reward them for being "mommy's assistants."

I have a reward system I use, called ticketing. I bought a role of red tickets and I give them tickets when they let me write uninterrupted. When they play on their own, or fix their own cereal, I give them tickets. Each ticket is worth ten cents. When they get ten tickets, I trade it in for a dollar. I keep the tickets and the dollars in jars so they can see how much they have. It provides wonderful incentive. They can lose tickets for disobeying, or fighting with their sibling or for talking back, etc. The tickets aren't just for when I need to "buy" writing time.
I always buy them something out of every advance. For instance, gymnastics lessons, or some craft activity that we can do together. Or something they can do while I'm writing if they choose.
Most of all, I try to stay super sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and to each of my children. When I sense they're needing some TLC or special mommy time, I drop what I'm doing and focus totally on them. I don't procrastinate with deadlines so I have that buffer there. I've always turned my stuff in early. Way early in most cases.

I don't spit out proposals as fast as I could, and I won't until they all get in school. I could write about five books a year but I hold back for the sake of time with my children. I try to remember my friends who can't stay home and want to, or I think of my friends who've lost their children. It is a harsh reminder that we're not promised another day of breath nor can we take time with our children for granted. When I set priorities, I don't take anything on that would leave me with regret should something happen to someone in my family.

In summary, I put God first then my family and church and then my writing. Matthew 6:33 is a wonderful life verse and I apply it to my writing because I know God has called me to do it. To let anything other than God, church or family to distract me from it, save times my friends need prayer, would be veering away from what I know I was put on this earth to do. Love God 1st. Love my family. I write as worship and my children understand that. That said, if I get obsessed with a scene and it abducts me for far too long, they will often pull me away from the computer for a "worship jam" session or "mommy time" where we dance around the living room and sing our hearts out for a few songs. Then I get right back to work and they head for the Polly Pockets.

I make them feel like they're more valuable than the keyboard, although while I was coordinating Book of the Year, they did have hefty cyber rivalry going on. LOL! So I took the entire summer off for them. Didn't write one word. Once they started school, I dived headlong back into the books.

Because I am brutal with senseless distractions, my children are very understanding when I am under deadline and am MIA from my Hide-N-Seek posts to write.

I have a wonderfully supportive family, grandmother and mother and sister, etc. who watch them for a few hours so I can meet my deadlines.

I use every spare minute I can and as I said, I don't waste time and I've given up a lot of other things, such as sacrificing computer games, TV and IM to be able to write. Time with my children is something I know God doesn't intend me to give up. So, each year, as my commitment to my publisher demands more of my time and loyalty, He lets me know what has to go. I probably won't see the mall for a year...unless it's to take my children to cash in their tickets. LOL!

Thanks, Cheryl, for sharing how you stick to your priorities of God, family and your writing in your busy life!

Readers, enter the drawing to win a copy of A Soldier's Promise by posting a comment. Please add your e-mail address to your post so I can contact the winner.

Blessings,

Janet